Forgive us Father as we have forgiven those...

I know all Christians are familiar with that verse. In case you have forgotten, its in the Lord's Prayer: ...and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us...

I have been struggling with that verse since Easter Sunday, when my house was robbed by four armed young men. I look back at that day and wonder where we had gone wrong. Everything was the same careful routine we had cultivated for over five years - we closed the gate early, ready for lock up any time. We were all in before 6p.m. so that there would be no case of latecoming, and we were having supper.

Then four guys burst into our compound and hold a gun to my mother's head. After almost two hours, they left, but not empty - handed. They went with four laptops, and six phones (everyone seemed to have two - my mum had three, but they dropped the last one at the gate). They locked us up in the library, but quick - thinking made me insist that my brother remove the key to the second door, and hide it, so they would think we were helpless. They carted away about twelve thousand naira, too small by their standards, but they believed there was more in the house - dollars, pounds, even euros, but there was nothing. It pissed them off - they beat my mum mercilessly.

Right now, I do not think I can forgive those men, who walked into my house, without masks and expect us not to remember their faces from that night.

I cannot talk of forgiving them for beating my mum so hard, for money she didn't have.

I cannot forgive them for taking my official laptop and putting me in a compromising situation - I don't know if the company will retain me now that I owe them more than my annual salary times three.

I cannot forgive them for taking from us when we actually were trying to save money.But i expect that everyone that has been robbed feels like I do.

Now everytime I pray in the morning, and I get to that part, the words die in my mouth - how am I supposed to overcome the anger? I had to take my mum to the hospital, and even till now, everytime we hear a noise, she jumps. Its so sad, I really do not know how to get out of this glitch.