Decades: Chunks of Time

Well I knew beforehand that there was going to be a party for the birthday celebration of my cousin, and I was amply prepared. I wanted to have a good time, and I did.The traffic in Lekki is seriously handicapping people o. I magine spending 2 hrs in traffic on a road that barely takes 10 minutes in a normal situation - it is a straight road for God's sake! Something must be done about that road. Someone suggested a fourth mainland bridge but I am not too optimistic about that bridge moving from fantasy to reality in my lifetime so that is out of the question. Anyway, I got home to meet a small crowd of nice people, just chilling and waiting for night to fall more darkly. I ran up the stairs and had a shower, and assumed that the party downstairs was IT.I ate late (8pm is late now you know), and spent some time gisting with other people, thinking that the party would end right there and there in the house at the appropriate 10pm.Boy, was I wrong! At abt 10.30pm, my cousin announced...

We did more exercises last night, and between you and me, I must tell you. I cannot feel my waist down anymore. But I can now run up the pedestrian bridge like I was in the next Olympics team. Progress is sweet.But I still cannot feel my waist.... HELP!!!!!!

I moved in to the bride's house yesterday, and spent the evening mixing and mingling with family and (new) friends. The highlight of the night was when all the guests had gone and it remained the bride (to-be), another bridesmaid (lives in Austria and speaks German, French, English and Dutch fluently, named Aero henceforth) and me in the house.I'd commented on Aero's lean physique earlier in the day, only for me to hear that she would be er...'gym instructor' for the bride till Dday. I quickly signed on, but ten minutes after we started doing crunches that night, I was ready to run.Needless to say that my waist down feels like needles have bn stuck in all over, and I can barely breath in (remember I still had to wear my girdle to sleep).I know it will work but I am dreading nighttime already. My waist is on fire!!!

Ok, so yesterday, I went for the bridesmaid dress fitting. The first agony was locating the Tailor's shop. I had to reach Ojuelegba before taking a Mushin bus that took me back in the direction I was coming from but on the other side. The shop is called La - Beth, and they are specialists in making women's corporate suits and other stuff. I know she's a professional cos my cousin's mum has been using her services for the past 20 yrs - and believe me, if the lady can satisfy my aunt's impeccable, society-conscious taste, then she's on equal grounds with international designers anywhere. After locating the shop, they had to locate my dress, and then I entered the cubicle to wear it. It looked exactly like what was in the picture, but the arm holes were too oblong, and one pad was missing (Ladies, I didnt know that there were pads for the bra area too. Is that supposed to make the dress more fitted? Or to encourage the braless phenomenon since the nipples are not e...

I have only lost 2kg. Only 2 kg! This is not it at all! I must be realistic sha. I have not been really serious, but at least I got results. These days I eat only when I am hungry, and I find that really satisfactory. It goes down well. That means I eat only once a day. Still five more days to go. And I need to lose a bit more. I think I will be taking swimming very very seriously. This means I will be swimming throughout sunday. Yes, the whole day! Hmm...Have to pack a few things. Pls pray for me o! The fitting day is drawing nearer! And pls try to understand - its for my own good!

Fasting begins! No food or water till 5pm. I have a Gala Meaty to use to break then. Then I wore the girdle to bed last night. Found out I went to the restroom more often that usual. My back is ramrod straight right now, but I will soon adjust, I know. No lunch today.....God pls hear my prayers o!

Aim - to lose weight drastically in ten days Reason - my cousin's wedding is in two weeks time, and the measurements for the clothes she bought for me for the occasion are er.....really smaller than I am now (I always wonder how I add these love handles so easily!). To fit into the dress (am in her train), I must lose weight....and quickly! Plan - Well, Let us try the diet of the month, the ...er...one that Jessica Alba follows so strictly.... hold on a second! Of course I am a Nigerian! And of course I will not be following some American or BRitish or Hawaii diet regimen that does not put into consideration the haphazard life we live here in Lagos. I am going to do it my own way. Structure A. PRAYER: My mother is a member of MFM (Mountain of Fire and Miracles) church, and they started their seventy (yes you read 70) days fasting and prayer on Sunday the 12th of October. Now its a simple structure really - You fast till 2pm everyday except for Mondays and Fridays when you break at ...

I don't think I can forget Tuesday the 7th of October 2008 for a long long time. I can still see the scene vividly. I came down a pedestrian bridge that morning, and continued walking in a hurry as I was late for an appointment, when something terrible happened. An okada tried to cross to the sidelane (on a four lane road), when it suddenly overturned, at full speed. The passenger got dragged a few feet before being separated from the bike. The okada rider (as we call them), had jumped and landed a few feet away. I stood frozen in place, praying that the passenger had not died, he sat up slowly, and glanced at his laptop bag a few feet away from where he'd skidded to a halt. That was when I noticed his leg. His left leg had broken....at the shins. That is after the knee...it had broken forward at an unearthly angle...and he sat there watching it. People ran towards him...there was a wail of agony at the incident. I still shudder when I picture it. He was just staring at the leg...

I got another one and decided to share... Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league. When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.' A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?' Bob's wife, now furious, gra...