Decades: Chunks of Time

Its here. The D-Day is here. Well, almost. By sunday night, I am going to be a married woman. My name will change, everything will change, even my body. It seemed so far away six months ago. All the shopping, all the mother and daughter fights, everything looks so trivial now. The cake isnt ready, the gown is ready. The bridesmaids dresses are alright, the chief bridesmaid's dress has not even been sewn yet. The flowers for everybody has not arrived yet. And my hairdresser wants to rob me blind, but its too short a notice to get another. I cannot remember where I hid the marriage license and I am looking for some of the gift money. One of my bridesmaids is acting very funny and we are thinking that the service boys from the caterer might not cover the whole event. Why do I have to fix artificial nails? And must my hairdo be gel? Can't I just set my hair in a curl or wave? The video guy is bugging us for his advance payment, and I still have to pay for the hair pieces for the br...

Tis amazing what we take for granted everyday...Got to church yesterday in less than 10 mins thanks to Bikermice from Mars [I'll miss them when I move to Abuja!]. As I went up then down the ped bridge briskly, all that was on my mind was getting to church. I stepped into Church and all that changed. It seemed my hip had shifted. I could barely put any weight on my right leg. It was awful. I developed a limp as I entered the church. I gunned for the very first available seat at the back. I could barely put pressure on the hip even while sitting. I wondered what I had done to cause it to happen. Was it my diet? For two weeks I have stayed away from rice, white bread, and yam. Considering that that was the staple in my household, you can understand that it was with supreme effort that I was sticking to that regime. I am loving the effects already as my clothes are really loose around my body, but I am lacking carbohydrates - it would have been total if not for the spaghetti I consume ...

I watched the movie, Seven Pounds, recently and just had to write a tribute to it. Everyday, he sits at his desk, glad to have a job, glad to be able to cater for himself. As the phone rings, he picks and says, "Hello, Customer service, how may i be of help to you?" Blind Ezra never hurt anyone, was never cruel or unkind. Everyday, she watched the children run down the street, She could barely keep her dog from running too fast. She knew her business was about to close, but with the uncertainty in the time she had left, her mind, her heart was no more into work. Emily, the girl with a failing heart. She sat in Child care services everyday, always trying to reach out, always praying her friendly smile would convince the next child, the next victim of abuse that she was there to hold them, to provide another way for them. No one knew of her pains, no one could tell that her liver had failed. Holly, always smiling, always ready to help. She kept the children in doors, She never ...

"My Daddy Eko is coming to our house today!" Four year old Ajibike whispered to her friend. They were at sunday school, and even though the teacher had warned her to keep quiet twice already, she could not suppress the good news. Nothing could suppress her excitement that day, not even the fact that her sunday black shoes had cut that morning on the way to church, because she had run at the site of a giant millepede. Her best friend, Lanre, had laughed at her, calling her a sissy, but his words did not have their usual effect that day. All she knew was that her Daddy from Lagos was arriving that day, and that was enough to keep the sun shining all day for her. One would think that the man's visits meant lots of sweets and gifts for her, like any other child, but for Ajibike, it meant she had a listening ear to report all her troublesome younger brother had done to her since his last visit. He was always patient enough to listen, unlike her father and mother, who expect...

"What is the issue now?" the man asked. "Haven't you taken enough for the tests?" The child was crying silently, in her mother's arms.The nurse glanced nervously at the couple. How was she to tell them that the pathologist was out for his noon day drinking break? "Er...the samples have been sent to the Lab sir," the nurse stuttered. "But that is what you said twenty minutes ago!" the man exclaimed. "We are waiting for the results sir, before we can proceed." the nurse repeated again. " The man glared at the nurse before turning back to his wife and child. Suddenly two doctors rushed into the room and asked for the referred child. The nurse pointed towards the watching couple. One doctor quickly collected the sleeping child from its mother while another began explaining that the child had to be operated on because they believed any more delay would jeopardize the child's life. "No!" exclaimed the mothe...

The man rubbed his head again in anguish, then rubbed his aching eyes, before resuming his pacing. Back and forth he paced in the waiting corridor, ignoring the pitying glances that passersby sent his way. Everytime a doctor approached he looked at their faces intently, dreading bad news. They had already lost one baby. This unexpected one had been a God - given miracle, and now it seemed it was only a teaser. He smiled as he remembered his wife's facial expression when the doctor had told her that her illness was another baby, not malaria. But that was four months ago. Now he had had to rush her to the emergency room because she had fainted. He had stepped down to the car to pick something, only to return and find her on the floor. "Hello sir," the approaching doctor asked. "Are you the husband of the woman in the theatre right now?" "Yes, Yes," he said in a rush. "I am. What happened?" "We are sorry about the.." the doctor began, ...

Since friday I decided not to comment on what was going on in the banking industry here in Nigeria, partly because I was three busy, and partly because I really do not 'vent' about politics. Yes, I vent about the upcoming wedding, the office, and other things but not really about politics. But this one, I have to vent . I read a post on 234Next about the banks crisis and the moves that CBN has made to try to change things, and it was alright. The information was shocking but still Nigerian. Then I read the comments. I encourage everyone to click the link above and read the comments thoroughly. It appears that there are some Nigerians who don't realize that every decision-making office in Nigeria is rapidly being filled with underqualified [or in some cases, unqualified] Katsina and Kaduna state people. I started with 'it appears' cos I do not want to believe it is true. I encourage everyone to read through THISDAY newspaper, yesterday's edition. Meanwhile this ...

I have a question for the 'experienced' Naija wives out there...How do you cope with decision making in the home? I am engaged to a good quiet guy and he's nice and reasonable most times but guess what? He's from Ekiti state. That is the beginning of it all, cos we all know they are extremely stubborn people. He can be so determined over some issues at times it makes me so exasperated that I am breathless. Now the wedding is pending and as usual the little arguements and 'issues' over wedding preps is expected, but it still makes me raise an eyebrow, cos even though I love this guy, it is a serious issue for me when he wont see reason. I am not always right but sometimes I am sure but he wont listen. Then when I am proved right he still wont say a word. Its funny, really because I have been practicing 'agree to disagree' but its wearing me down. Tis especially frustrating because I am used to making my own decisions and all that independence. Now he'...

It all seemed so unreal - someone even twitted that he expected Michael to jump out of the casket and tell us it was a lie and make us roll our eyes and say, 'Oh pleez! Stop your theateritics for Pete's sake!' But it was not to be. I tried to watch the Michael Jackson Memorial, but I live in Nigeria, where the only TV station to show it live decided that the nine o clock news was more important than watching the service - they cut into the live feed with their news. Nigeria has not changed and we get six o clock news so why didn't they just leave it on for Pete's sake? Its not like they interrupt football anyway. Even the internet wasnt cooperating - guess it was my low 115Kbps bandwidth that wouldn't help. So this morning as I opened my yahoomail, I saw AP news about it and clicked. This is what I found. And It finally sunk in.... By SANDY COHEN, AP Entertainment Writer – Tue Jul 7, 9:35 pm ET LOS ANGELES – For all the hasty preparations, hand-wringing over sec...

Life is so funny. And so painful. I used to think of myself as an easy-to-heal soul, you know, the type that forgives easily, and forgets. I still heal easily - on the surface that is. My skin heals quick and I have no scars, no matter how severe. But I am wrong in my assumption. My heart has scars that wont dissappear. It is odd that the two scars that are prominent were brought on by similar circumstances, and by friends. The first was from a bossom friend who I loved deeply. I really felt for this babe. Don't get me wrong - I was not attracted to her, I just saw her as the sister I never had. I went out of my way to please her and help her. It wasn't that she was ill, or disabled or anything. In fact, she was and is a beauty - long legs, pretty smile, lovely figure. Around her, short, pudgy me was not self-conscious however. I felt at home with her. It didnt even matter that we were of different religions. All that mattered was her happiness. Our friendship stood the test ...

Have you ever planned the next year of your life and then after a few months, realized that nothing went according to plan? Well it happened to me. Back in October, I knew where I wanted to be in a year's time: I was going to be married, with my husband and I studying in a foreign country for masters degrees. We had applied and then things began to happen. First my Dad felt I was rushing to get married (Never mind that he'd insisted when I was 17 that by the time I reach my age, I should have given him 2 grandkids for him to spoil). Then my acclaimed alma mater university refused to send my transcripts to the schools I had applied to. As if that was not enough, I had not taken my TEOFL exam which was required to apply. Its now June. I lost the admissions because my transcripts never arrived even though my university claims they have sent it. My father has finally agreed to let me get married BUT at his own convenient time, and his own way (he has just declared he doesnt want us...

After a stressful day at a client's site, I got home feeling dog-gone tired. I went to check on my Mum and got a heart-stopper. After I left for work in the morning, my brother found her struggling to breath. He called Dad who got a heart specialist hospital name and address in Nigeria and sent it to my brother. He rushed her there and after several checks, the verdict was: she's overworked, overstressed, and in need of rest. Her flunctuating high blood pressure, low resistance to illnesses and skipping heartbeat will get worse if we don't act fast. She needs to reduce her workload drastically. She needs to rest more. She needs to stop worrying about things. She needs to change her diet totally. It was a wake up call for me. All the time that she was being prodded with needles and xrayed I was thinking only of work. Even as I entered the house that was what was on my mind. To be honest, if she hadn't chided me that I didn't ask how her day was, I probably wouldn...

I want to vent. Last week I had to mail the office that I wouldn't make it in that day. Then I had to send a file too so I used my flash drive on my brother's laptop for a few minutes. Later in the evening he came to tell me his laptop was acting pretty wierd- conclusion? There was a virus causing havoc on it. So I told him I'd scan my flash in the office, then ask advice on how to help him out. I got to the office and I scanned the flash, no issues. Then I double-clicked the drive and viola, my system started shutting down. I panicked and cried out. I called an angel who sent me a link to download a tool that he said would help out. Needless to say I was paralyzed throughout that day- I could not do any work. I got home and still gave him the link. He downloaded the tool but it was not effective. I went out, got back home and you know what? My darling brother had gone to see a friend I'd introduced him to who's a hardware guru. And guess what? He took the internet ...

What is this wahala now? Why must such a tiny state in Nigeria cause so much wahala? It is not even in the center, it is not even an original state but a cut out of another. I really dont understand why every newspaper feels they must print something about Ekiti on the front page every single day. And this has been the case since it was created. The latest sensation is the election rerun that even our busy President had to take time to go and see. I mean, you would think with all the monitoring eyes, everything would run smoothly but no, another twist in the saga has been announced. The outside world thinks we should be ashamed of ourselves. I a just praying that it does not get bloody, and that Ekiti will stop trying to keep attention all the time. Am not dissing Ekiti o[that was for Vicky who will soon be my husband, so he'll not quote me after the wedding - he's from Ekiti :D]. Am just saying they should behave themselves.

As I reply the last person to leave me in the office and wave goodbye I glance at the windows. It'd gotten dark and I knew it must be the clouds I'd seen earlier. The next time I look at the clock on my pc screen its a few minutes past six. I'd just read my pal kafo's latest blog post and I smiled sadly because I understood her pain. I was right where she was at the moment. Then I heard the heavy downpour outside. There was no way I was leaving the premises in the rain. While I waited for it to subside I took my time to think up an apt comment and wrote it. At the dot of seven I was outside the office gates with a shower cap on my hair. I waste ten more minutes in the light showers before heading to New Garage where I find an almost filled bus heading in my direction. After me there were only three passengers left. I removed my shower cap and stared out into the rain. It was getting worse by the minute. I waited expectantly for what I knew would come next: dripping. ...

Ok, its day 9, and I must confess I broke the rules a little. Rather than not eat fruits I chose not to eat at all. I didn't feel hunger pangs and I must say Vicky had to insist we go eat when he heard I had not eaten for over 10 hrs. I travelled for the easter break - went for Vicky's elder brother's wedding. I had to go a day earlier so I could participate in the preparations. This time we were on the husband's side of the wedding so we really didn't have much to do, but the little we did was a lot. I learnt to use my creative imagination again - did a lot of ribbon design and frills and twirls and stuff. We had to make the wedding Bible and the Wedding letter (Those of us that are Yoruba, know these things) frilly and nice-looking. We also had to tie ribbons on every other item - yam tubers, packs of 6-pack can drinks (up to 20 of that), and even a packet of sugar. At one point I asked if there was a goat on the list - at least something would wear the ribbons pr...

Hmm...I weighed 71kg on sunday,             65kg on tuesday,                                     622 on wednesday, hmm....Can't wait to climb the scales tonight! And all on pineapple and oranges! Life is good! Probably by this time next week, I'd be back to 58kg! Wish me luck!

Sunday afternoon I finally decided that I am going to begin a fruit diet. Nothing else but fruits - pineapple, apple, oranges, pawpaw, you name it. ONLY. No rice, no ofada stew, no mouthwatering vegetable stew with delightful pieces of ponmo, stock fish, periwinkle and crayfish in it. No ewa gayin (pronounce as spelt), no fried rice, no jollof rice, nothing else. I climbed the scales - I weigh 71kg (or is it pounds? Will hav to take a closer look next time) Monday Evening It was tiring but I did it. I ignored all the tempting smells around me and focused on the tiny purple grapes I'd bought for lunch. Oh...did I forget to mention that my first meal will be at 3 pm as well? I will take nothing before 3 - not even water. Tuesday Evening I am soo tired. And weak. I weighed myself. No it cannot be possible - I just had a dinner of pineapple chips and an orange. I lost 6 kg? 6? Its not possible! But this is just d second day! Wow.....but it still does not compensate for the pain I had t...

Well, tis been a while and I know am at fault, but programming is really taking my time these days. Its as if I must share myself among it all - programming, social life, hubby-to-be, exercise and family (not in that order o!). I am striving to find a balance. Well, what has been going on? A lot, I tell you. I chatted and spoke with my best friend mentyola, a few days ago, and I can tell you that distance has not spoilt anything in between us. It is hard to find a friend who just loves you the way you are - and wants you to be a better person. If you find that in a person hold on tight! Needless to say I have gained weight again (my cousin will kill me when she reads this!). Yes, my tummy is bulging again, and am without makeup most days and I don't really care about how I dress - again. I guess its back to 'almost depressed' zone. I have been burying myself in work, but so far its not really helping. Several factors are weighing me down - thanks to my marvelous former scho...

I am totally angry with the youth of today. I am talking about all those dudes that sit in front of a PC/Laptop and think up ways to scam people. Now they are not even zeroing in on foreigners anymore. No o! They don't hide behind the finger, saying "It is colonization money" anymore. Now we in Nigeria are the targets. Everyone that has an email address is a supreme target. Some might say its not news, but I will tell you what got me riled up this afternoon. Some stupid kolo person sent me this mail: InterSwitch Nigeria Limited= Attention Customer: Please Confirm Your InterSwitch Security Upgrade 2009 From: "InterSwitch Nigeria Limited" To: undisclosed-recipients [then with the interswitch logo] Attention Card Holder, This is to notify you that our services are being upgraded to a new, better and more secured system . You are now required to CLICK HERE and register all your DEBIT CARDS, X-CHANGE CARDS, and CASH CARDS online IMMEDIATELY so as to enable your card ...

"Daydah I need your help right now!" Melissa moaned into my ears. I forced my eyes open to look at the time. It was past midnight, but she was obviously distressed. Ever happy Mel was crying on the phone. I sat up slowly. "What is the matter Mel?" I asked as I forced my brain to get out of sleep mode. She started crying and I spent another three minutes telling her to calm down. Her crying subsided and I asked what was bothering her.Seems she was confused. So confused that she was crying. She said she didn't know what to do with her life. Last time I checked, she was counting the days to her wedding to this fabulous guy that she loved very much, so I wondered what could have happened to shake her world. She started off her tale all muddled up, but after a few sentences I was able to pick up what the problem was. She was on her way to the altar to marry one guy, who'd been her senior in high school and was made (definition: had a job, a house and a car) and ...

Please take time to ready this story. It will affect your life positively.  One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.  Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.  It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.  That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.  On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much." were most of the comments.  No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them ...

Yes I had a boil on the second toe on my left leg. It was horrible as it ached me to no end. At one point, I thanked God I was at work because if I was at home, I could have found a knife to cut off the toe and end my misery. It was that bad. Prior to that, I had malaria and a chesty cough which managed to make me go from my cheerful self down down into melancholy. And I gained weight in the recuperation period. Yes, I GAIN weight when I am ill, and not vice versa. Its why I fight to stay healthy all the time. So now I have a big tummy, and fragile left foot, but you know what? I am happy. I made it into 2009. I have a left foot to complain about. I have weight to shed, which means I had access to food in the first place. I now have a job, and my brain is buzzing with ideas on how I want my year to be like. I am grateful to be among the living. Its not a feat I accomplished myself. I have God to thank for that. But I have something to worry about... I wonder what He has in store for me...