I WALKED

Well, tis been a while and I know am at fault, but programming is really taking my time these days. Its as if I must share myself among it all - programming, social life, hubby-to-be, exercise and family (not in that order o!). I am striving to find a balance.
Well, what has been going on? A lot, I tell you. I chatted and spoke with my best friend mentyola, a few days ago, and I can tell you that distance has not spoilt anything in between us. It is hard to find a friend who just loves you the way you are - and wants you to be a better person. If you find that in a person hold on tight!

Needless to say I have gained weight again (my cousin will kill me when she reads this!). Yes, my tummy is bulging again, and am without makeup most days and I don't really care about how I dress - again. I guess its back to 'almost depressed' zone. I have been burying myself in work, but so far its not really helping. Several factors are weighing me down - thanks to my marvelous former school, my transcript has not gotten to the proposed masters school, so I have missed my admission this year. Next, my Dad has refused to select a rep for him (in case he cannot make it) to my wedding. I cannot blame him for it, or throw a tantrum as I want to because I understand - I don't want to, but I understand.

Vicky's younger sister got married some days ago. It was a successful affair (thank God for that!) and I was opportuned to attend (and help out). But I must say that life did not change afterwards. Everything remained the same. I could barely spend some quality time with Vicky even though I stayed for more than 4 days in his state. He was so busy that he got really tired everyday - I wondered sometimes where he got the strength to walk even.

I got asked this question a lot - "So when is your own wedding coming up?", so much that I got sick of it. But I survived. That is what matters, right?

I look around me and wonder why am not praising God for where I am. Oh, and then there is the cubicle. I spent some time wit TopBoss 002 and got to really like him a lot. Then we get back to base and everyone is looking at me like I grew another horn. Boss 003 actually went as far as saying that I am too forward with him. Like I should be shaking like a leaf and hold myself rigid around him as the rest of the cubicle do.

I don't get that point, really.

Is it the same guy that was teasing me about marriage? The same guy that we went hunting for chocolate for a 15 yr old kid so he could impress her that he brought it from home? Is it the same guy that joked with my brother-in-law, or that put a smile on my mother-inlaw's face? OR is it the same guy that was competing with me on the flight back in Sudoku?That was extremely concerned when my ear hurt for several minutes during landing?OR that fibbed with my brother when he met him?

I just don't get it!

Around him I was myself - the way I am around everyone else! Why should I freeze up or give him a forced smile because he is Boss? He knows I respect him. And he knows I love my work and do not shirk my duties, so why not be myself?

I am sooo annoyed about that right now!

That bit of advice has actually turned me against the rest of the cubicle. Seriously, I enjoyed a friendship with my former bosses and I don't see why it should be any different here. Rather am going to be on my toes around the rest of this crew, cos if they are calculative around the TopBosses, then I should be wary of what they might do around me.

Tis just soo hard to pretend for me! If I like you I like you. If I don't you can tell. If I am pissed with you you can tell - most times I even let you feel it life and direct but once am through its gone.

Oh....I went to church on Wednesday - midweek service and anointing service. And afterwards I stood for an hour waiting for a bus, taxi or bike.

None.

Nada.

Zilch.

So I began the long walk home. I walked from Agidingbi to Alausa, then crossed the Lagos - Ibadan expressway and walked through CMD to my area, then home (abeg somebody helep me convert that to kilometres for those wey no no Lagos well well). Halfway home I stepped into a puddle in the dark, so by the time I entered my compound I had caked dirt on my left foot and some of my right foot.

It was late and it was dark, but I was able to make the journey, and I just want to give God the thanks.

THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR GUIDANCE AND PROTECTION.
THANK YOU LORD FOR YOUR EVER-PRESENT FAVOUR AND LOVE

THANK YOU LORD FOR A NEW MONTH OF BLESSINGS AND PROMOTION.

I am grateful....I walked.....