Decades: Chunks of Time

I have only lost 2kg. Only 2 kg! This is not it at all! I must be realistic sha. I have not been really serious, but at least I got results. These days I eat only when I am hungry, and I find that really satisfactory. It goes down well. That means I eat only once a day. Still five more days to go. And I need to lose a bit more. I think I will be taking swimming very very seriously. This means I will be swimming throughout sunday. Yes, the whole day! Hmm...Have to pack a few things. Pls pray for me o! The fitting day is drawing nearer! And pls try to understand - its for my own good!

Fasting begins! No food or water till 5pm. I have a Gala Meaty to use to break then. Then I wore the girdle to bed last night. Found out I went to the restroom more often that usual. My back is ramrod straight right now, but I will soon adjust, I know. No lunch today.....God pls hear my prayers o!

Aim - to lose weight drastically in ten days Reason - my cousin's wedding is in two weeks time, and the measurements for the clothes she bought for me for the occasion are er.....really smaller than I am now (I always wonder how I add these love handles so easily!). To fit into the dress (am in her train), I must lose weight....and quickly! Plan - Well, Let us try the diet of the month, the ...er...one that Jessica Alba follows so strictly.... hold on a second! Of course I am a Nigerian! And of course I will not be following some American or BRitish or Hawaii diet regimen that does not put into consideration the haphazard life we live here in Lagos. I am going to do it my own way. Structure A. PRAYER: My mother is a member of MFM (Mountain of Fire and Miracles) church, and they started their seventy (yes you read 70) days fasting and prayer on Sunday the 12th of October. Now its a simple structure really - You fast till 2pm everyday except for Mondays and Fridays when you break at

I don't think I can forget Tuesday the 7th of October 2008 for a long long time. I can still see the scene vividly. I came down a pedestrian bridge that morning, and continued walking in a hurry as I was late for an appointment, when something terrible happened. An okada tried to cross to the sidelane (on a four lane road), when it suddenly overturned, at full speed. The passenger got dragged a few feet before being separated from the bike. The okada rider (as we call them), had jumped and landed a few feet away. I stood frozen in place, praying that the passenger had not died, he sat up slowly, and glanced at his laptop bag a few feet away from where he'd skidded to a halt. That was when I noticed his leg. His left leg had broken....at the shins. That is after the knee...it had broken forward at an unearthly angle...and he sat there watching it. People ran towards him...there was a wail of agony at the incident. I still shudder when I picture it. He was just staring at the leg

I got another one and decided to share... Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league. When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.' A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?' Bob's wife, now furious, gra

I got this inmy box and could not resist! ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there… __________________________________________________ __________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats & Reeboks. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan!! ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor…isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ________________________

I know, when I paused after reading the topic, I tried to see it from a reader's point of view. I'm sure you'll be thinking along this lines: she's about to talk about some chick that loves to act life out, that loves to be the centre of attention 24/7. I am glad to tell you that you are wrong! I am about to lament to YOU about my life! I need to know Why everytime I am about to step up to the next level in my life, its never automatic I need to know why everytime I am supposed to just go through a particular session or phase, its never like everyone else's I need to know why I had to attend 3 primary schools instead of one. why I was not allowed into secondary school from primary 4 and my brother was rushed through why I had to attend two secondary schools why I had to do GCE twice, WAEC once, NECO once, just because I was looking for credit in Chemistry, even though i had As in all the other subjects. why I had to be given a fake score in the JAMB I needed to use